Wattpad brings you a guest post from Tsubame, author of our newest Featured Story Life As Told By Nerdy:
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First of all, let me tell you about why I was let lose off my straight jacket and talking to you now. Apparently, Life as Told by Nerdy, a story I wrote, had caught some attention. Whether that was a good or a bad thing, I couldn’t be sure. But practically, the story revolves around Sarah Littman, also known as Nerdy, who tried her best to do a self make-over but failed too many times. She met a boy who was doing just the opposite. He was pretending to be a nerd.
But, ha! Don’t you ever think that being a nerd would be that easy. Not! It takes a lot more than talent and genes to do it. Now, if you are an aspiring nerd or just curious on how to be in touch with you inner nerd, here are a few things you might want to own.
The glasses. Yes. Spectacles, bifocals, cheaters—whichever you want to call them. A good nerd in their right mind would at least have one whether it’s a prescription or just for show. You’d probably need a good old pair to read all those volumes of hardbound books you’ve checked out from the library. Plus, I would recommend a spare just in case all hell breaks loose and the world comes to an end. You wouldn’t want to end up being gnawed on by the bad guys just because your glasses broke or fell off, do you?
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i. The Photochromic Glasses. I’m not talking of just any glasses. I’m talking about light-adaptive glasses that darken when outdoors and become clear indoors. Yes! Like shades! Ha!
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ii. The Sony 3D Active Glasses. And if that’s not nerdy enough, if you want that 3D effect while apocalypse happens in reel time, or just want to see the boring world (but mostly your favorite TV show) in a totally different way, you might want to try this. It’s complete with a standard micro-USB port.
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iii. The Sarcastic Talking Shirt. To add a dramatic effect, if you’re not sarcastic enough, then let your shirt talk for you.
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iv. A Magic Eight Ball. If you think it’s just a hollow piece of plastic. We’ll you’re darn wrong. Nerdy minds are pretty complex and sometimes one just couldn’t decide whether to take the left or the right turn as you run for dear life away from Jason-X. Or if just to see whether to add Sulfuric acid or Hydrochloric or both. You’d find that this genius device is a lifesaver! That is if, by chance, you still haven’t exploded into pieces. Good luck!
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v. A Super Mario Lamp that lets you punch the light out, literally. Or as I call it, The Super Mario Lamp that lets you punch the light out, literally. Ugh. Besides, the annoying long name which I couldn’t bear to repeat again, it lets you do what was said above, complete with a classic coin sound and probably a 1-up! Plus you’ll never have to sleep in the dark again.
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vi. The Ghostbusters Proton Pack Backpack. Sarcasm, check. Guts, check. A degree in paranormal studies, double check. Now you might be wondering where to put all those stuff you got. Well here it is, complete with a Neutrona Wand especially made for evil spirits (and maybe as a flashlight carrier).
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vii. The Lightsaber. Play Darth Vader theme at this point while breathing into a cup. Light up your life with some Plasma. Channel your inner Jedi with this neat glow-in-the dark weapon of greatness. Any nerd may need The Force with them, you know.
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viii. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. I know. Who doesn’t just love Arthur Dent? Whether you’re searching for some genuine outer space experience and or just bored out of your wits trying to fathom your existence and the human-from-apes premise and such, this book is the answer (or any of the five books for that matter). Plus, it has the words “Don’t panic” in front. You never know when you’ll get abducted by flying saucers. Be prepared!
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ix. A copy of Resident Evil 4. (A. K. A. Biohazard 4 or any one of the series. I just happen to love Leon, duh.) You’ve seen the movie. Now, experience it. The ugly truth— most nerds have either low involvement in the social pool, or no life at all. That is why video games are invented, people! We do here what we couldn’t actually do in real life. Whether you’re a hardcore gamer or just want to blast off zombies for the fun of it, I think you’d find yourself somewhat deprived of sleep because of these games. I mean, who else is going to save the world once the T-virus infects us all?
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x. A Towel. For obvious reasons, and if you have no idea what I’m talking about, keep thinking! Haha!
Done at last. I hope this helps. And do not panic. When I said 10 Nerdy things to die for, I don’t really mean that you should die for them, literally. That would probably get me arrested.
Check out Life As Told By Nerdy on Wattpad:
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As if life wasn’t hard enough being bullied and treated like garbage all the time; my loathsome, insufferable seat mate just had to come with his “secrets” and torture my every waking hour. What’s the big deal you say? Nothing except for the fact that he’s some insanely beautiful Greek God under those nerdy glasses. And now, he lives next door. I’m Sarah and this is my story.